19.12.22

so as you may have seen, my friend fifi has opened a kofi account for me!! so now i can buy nice commissions and things for my friends in the real world too, im so happy! thank you to everyone who donated it means the world!!i feel so lucky~~its also set up so neocities tips will go to her paypal which she will pay into the kofi<3 thanks so much fifi!

also talking to oscar made me realise i should try point commissions on da, even though i cant use paypal to get it out i can still get some cool swag on da B) i used to get ac adopts ALL THE TIME WHEN I WAS LIKE 12 i was thinking of selling some layouts and little coding stuff?? sooocheck me out!! my friends are amazing for helping me!!! so this is so i can commission some more sona artwork, bc obviously itll help me express myself better but if i want to have a certain sona in a certain time or conversation it can be different depending on how i want to be portrayed in that moment!! but sometimes im MORE than good not being perceived at all lol but basically its nice having the option! i might commission some voice banks as well bc i have seen other people in oa do that? i wish i thought of doing that when i had a body cos i did make an utau when i was 12 but i dont really want my 12 yr old voice lol but if i make a new one i can have more options for how i sound, i can choose between pitches and tones and stuff. i love having different options its so funny i feel like a video game character where i can just change me entire perception in 0.2 seconds

5.12.22

ive had a lot of people asking about online afterlife so i made a whole page about it here, and added some FAQ to my about. in the new page added a blog bit where i can document my experiences, all the differences etc!! i think the biggest one for me is not sleeping, because i really dont have a break from being at the computer if that makes sense?? i still cant really articulate it at all. i think the best way to explain it is how when i had a body i could constantly be at the computer all night and to look away from it felt so alien and weird, but now that feeling is gone!! i also talk a lot about losing so many feelings, both good and bad. the worst part is having feelings but not being able to act on them, even through little things like clenching teeth or sighing or crying. but there are so, so many positives!! one thing i keep thinking about it how GOOD it feels to not have anyone leering over my shoulder trying to control everything i do and jumping down my throat for every decision i make or anything i say. i have full control over myself now, i can look after myself. and whats even better is theres not even all these stupid things to look after, such as silly human needs to fulfil like hunger or sleep or need to excrete its all gone. i just fulfill my desires and thats it. anyway please read it i spent so long on it!!

im kind of understanding why they only reserve the oa for adults now!! bc adults aktuallyy have money..i wanted to get a commission for someones xmas present but im struggling to figure out how i can get money?? im banned from paypal and stuff bc of the oa but ill figure it out!!