13.2.22

its saturday today yaaaay! but i have so much homework its a joke >:( all i want to do is have some fun coding this website like all i want is a break. i basically work when i get home then stay up longer so i can ACTUALLY have concious time where im relaxing and doing stuff i wanna do bc if i just sleep the hours im meant to then my only concious time is at school and doing school work and basic human living things like eating and dhdfsdasdasdasdg i just cannot deal with this. and to make things worse im on my p*riod. i wish I WISH i could just yeet this organ out of my body i hate it soooo much i hate it i hate it i hate it i feel so gross rn

not the best segway but i never wrote here about how i realised that im nonbinary, specifically a demiboy!! so ever since pubery started, i felt like my body was spinning out of my control and it wasnt mine anymore and everytime i look at myself, or someone calls me "she" or a "young lady" i just dissociate because thats not me,,,but when i started using they pronouns last year and sometimes people referred to me as a guy or boy it feels so much better>.< so yeah!! its pretty much just online atm but one day i hope to come out to people.

and its also valentines day tomorrow which im spending with oscar, did i mention we're dating now??? which is amazing i love being gay and being gay with my bf who loves to be gay im still aroace but like gay at the same time. anyway i need to go and wrap the present i got for them its a secret shh shhhh!!